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If you're still angry at an ex for notion you up, or bitter about that boss who fired you, maybe it's time for some not-so-sweet revenge. The San Antonio Zoo is offering to name a cockroach, rodent or veggie after the person of your tool, then feed it to one of the zoo's nationwide animals. It's part of the zoo's Cry Me a Cockroach annual Valentine's Day fundraiser, and you can get in on it for as exiguous as $5 (£4, AU$7).
The Texas zoo also tracks which names are most commonly used in the promotion.
"Last year, the most favorite names were Jacob and Sarah. Who will take the cockroach this year?" a zoo statement reads.
Five bucks gets you a veggie to name, which is then fed to a vegetarian animal. It costs $10 (£8, AU$14) for a roach, and $25 (£20, AU$35) for a (frozen) rodent.
Twenty gift-givers can go all-out, and receive a shareable video of the animal eating whatever was requested for your, uh, friend.
The San Antonio Zoo isn't the only one offering such a promotion. New York's Bronx Zoo offers a slightly different gift package that also involves naming a near after someone for Valentine's Day. That zoo's promotion compensations $75 (£60, AU$106) and includes a roach tumbler, near tote, a printed certificate with the roach's name, and the sect to schedule and up-close-and-personal encounter with a Madagascar hissing cockroach.
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